Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
