After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
