When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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