he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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