Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
