remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
