is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
