im drinking this country out of the recession.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize