hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you win again, gameday.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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