I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
