you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
