I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She bit a glass in half.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
