I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
