zippers are such a cool invention
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
