I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
