doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
