Is it normal to miss your booty call?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
