Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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