All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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