? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
