i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
