Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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