What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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