so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
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we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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