I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
