Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
