I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
