Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Who died my cat blue again?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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