Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
