You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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