1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
