He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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