remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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