I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize