when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
