Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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