The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
