I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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