The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
