I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
