I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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