her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary