I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning