well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am naked and annoyed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
