Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

(951): View more from California

That's the thing about women.

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(707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z

Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (2487)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

(1-503): View more from Oregon

I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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(503): i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking (1-503): I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning http://tfl.nu/mjdo

Replies (14) Good night (4838) Bad night (787)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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(502): I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all. http://tfl.nu/o1tr

Replies (4) Good night (2505) Bad night (836)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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(732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073

Replies (3) Good night (1610) Bad night (810)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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(765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod

Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (631)
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(561): View more from Florida

This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!

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(561): This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED! http://tfl.nu/seat

Replies (12) Good night (2255) Bad night (614)
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(613): View more from Ontario

but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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(613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (1080)
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(530): View more from California

they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(

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(530): they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :( http://tfl.nu/bt8b

Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (473)
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(806): View more from Texas

We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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(806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p

Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (475)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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(931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8

Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (397)
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(559): View more from California

I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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(559): I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon http://tfl.nu/fvut

Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (588)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

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(262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s

Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (293)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice

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(402): Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice http://tfl.nu/0nos

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (281)
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(916): View more from California

You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.

(1-916): View more from California

No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.

(916): View more from California

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN

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(916): You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier. (1-916): No, it's okay because this is the city of trees. (916): YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN http://tfl.nu/hcly

Replies (8) Good night (729) Bad night (408)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B

(908): View more from New Jersey

update: I failed

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(908): tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B (908): update: I failed http://tfl.nu/ownp

Replies (4) Good night (297) Bad night (478)

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