dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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