they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
