everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
