Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
