Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
