woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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