Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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