I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
