Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
