Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize