i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Randomize
