I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
