You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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