dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
