member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
