There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
