If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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