Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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