I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
