just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
