sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
