Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
