Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
