I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
