Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
