Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
