That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
